Here in the trailing hours of November, it would be easy to look at my word count badge and regard the past month as a failure. I guess it was a technical failure in the sense that I didn't reach the word goal, but it was by no means a moral failure.
Back in September and October, my thought was that I should have a detailed plan from the very beginning. Last year I got a late start and pretty much wrote by the seat of my pants. I thought if I decided my plot, setting, characters, basic conflict and ultimate resolution before putting hand to keyboard it would build a nice frame and all I would have to do come November would be to fill in the details. Instead, it had the effect of tying my story, and my creativity in a straight jacket.
Now I see that having less control instead of more, would have led not only to higher word counts, but ultimately to a better story.
Once I realized this, the words started to flow a lot better, but by then I had also realized something else: Completing Nanowrimo could give me nothing that I don't already have (that in itself was a pretty startling revelation), so I was able to let it go this time without any regrets. Having said that, I think Nanowrimo is a blast. It's worth doing just because it's a lot of fun, it's a personal achievement, and you just might write a passable first draft in the process. Congratulations to all the "winners." I'll totally see you all next year.
Back in September and October, my thought was that I should have a detailed plan from the very beginning. Last year I got a late start and pretty much wrote by the seat of my pants. I thought if I decided my plot, setting, characters, basic conflict and ultimate resolution before putting hand to keyboard it would build a nice frame and all I would have to do come November would be to fill in the details. Instead, it had the effect of tying my story, and my creativity in a straight jacket.
Now I see that having less control instead of more, would have led not only to higher word counts, but ultimately to a better story.
Once I realized this, the words started to flow a lot better, but by then I had also realized something else: Completing Nanowrimo could give me nothing that I don't already have (that in itself was a pretty startling revelation), so I was able to let it go this time without any regrets. Having said that, I think Nanowrimo is a blast. It's worth doing just because it's a lot of fun, it's a personal achievement, and you just might write a passable first draft in the process. Congratulations to all the "winners." I'll totally see you all next year.
Labels: Nanowrimo
A full 21 days into this thing, I finally got brave enough to put an actual excerpt from my story on my profile page (Click "turn" in the lower right-hand corner to see the excerpt). I'm not going to make any judgment, negatively or positively, on the quality of my work. It's there, and you are welcome to have a look.
I will say this though; both last year and this year the main character of my story has been male, but also in each story I ended up creating a female character who I hadn't planned on in the beginning. They really just got put there so my main character would have someone to talk to, and in each case she has turned out to be the most interesting person in the story. I just think it's interesting because I think of myself as being more tuned into the male mind, and yet for two years running, I've done a better job (I think) at writing female characters than I have with the male ones.
I keep writing, and keep thinking I'm going to get caught up and pull through at the last, but realistically I don't think it's going to happen. What's funny is that things keep coming up that force me to make choices that put the relative importance of this project in perspective. A friend calls while I'm writing and needs help preparing his lesson for the next day. I meet with another friend and I end up staying later than I meant to because he needs to talk for a while, or else I put off writing simply because I don't feel like being alone for an evening. Also this month, I've made some major decisions that are going to affect the next several years of my life, and maybe even my entire life. That's not the kind of thing you want to squeeze in between chapters.
Finally, I've worked really, really damn hard over the past year to bring some balance to my life. Last year, doing Nanowrimo brought focus and direction to my life. It was exactly what I needed at the time. This year it was throwing my life out of balance, so it had to take a back seat. Perhaps next year, or further down the road, I'll be able to surrender some of that balance knowing I can get it back at the end of the month. Right now is not the time.
If it sounds like I'm making excuses, I am. This has been a deeply educational experience, if not a hugely productive one. To sum up what I've learned, I'm going to blatantly paraphrase (steal) Suze Orman's tag line: "People first, then Nanowrimo, then free time."
I will say this though; both last year and this year the main character of my story has been male, but also in each story I ended up creating a female character who I hadn't planned on in the beginning. They really just got put there so my main character would have someone to talk to, and in each case she has turned out to be the most interesting person in the story. I just think it's interesting because I think of myself as being more tuned into the male mind, and yet for two years running, I've done a better job (I think) at writing female characters than I have with the male ones.
I keep writing, and keep thinking I'm going to get caught up and pull through at the last, but realistically I don't think it's going to happen. What's funny is that things keep coming up that force me to make choices that put the relative importance of this project in perspective. A friend calls while I'm writing and needs help preparing his lesson for the next day. I meet with another friend and I end up staying later than I meant to because he needs to talk for a while, or else I put off writing simply because I don't feel like being alone for an evening. Also this month, I've made some major decisions that are going to affect the next several years of my life, and maybe even my entire life. That's not the kind of thing you want to squeeze in between chapters.
Finally, I've worked really, really damn hard over the past year to bring some balance to my life. Last year, doing Nanowrimo brought focus and direction to my life. It was exactly what I needed at the time. This year it was throwing my life out of balance, so it had to take a back seat. Perhaps next year, or further down the road, I'll be able to surrender some of that balance knowing I can get it back at the end of the month. Right now is not the time.
If it sounds like I'm making excuses, I am. This has been a deeply educational experience, if not a hugely productive one. To sum up what I've learned, I'm going to blatantly paraphrase (steal) Suze Orman's tag line: "People first, then Nanowrimo, then free time."
Labels: Nanowrimo
Unsafe [novelling] at any speed
1 Comments Published by Brian on Saturday, November 18, 2006 at 12:29 PM.
I think I finally get the point of this Nanowrimo thing. It's like taking your car out on the highway and "opening up the throttle to see what she can do." It's not about reaching any particular destination. It's about doing something for the pure joy of the thing itself. Sure, in this case there is an arbitrary goal of writing 50,000 words in a month. The number is about motivation. It's there to make you desperate enough to waste words. Without the word count and the deadline, we would write slowly and carefully, stopping at every crossroad and looking both ways before proceeding. We think we have to squeeze every drop we can out of every word, as if words were a precious natural resource. Nanowrimo represents a return to the glory days of writing, when words cost just pennies a gallon. We all wrote with giant, inefficient machines and thought the well of words would never run dry. Heck, we even wrote without wearing our seatbelts.
Having said that, I think I must have a clogged fuel injector (to carry the metaphor perhaps a bit too far). I've decided to keep writing, but I'm not going to worry too much if I don't reach the word goal this year. With everything I've got going on this year, as long as I don't give up I'll be a "winner." Besides, I mainly just need my words to get around town and take the kids to soccer practice.
Having said that, I think I must have a clogged fuel injector (to carry the metaphor perhaps a bit too far). I've decided to keep writing, but I'm not going to worry too much if I don't reach the word goal this year. With everything I've got going on this year, as long as I don't give up I'll be a "winner." Besides, I mainly just need my words to get around town and take the kids to soccer practice.
Labels: Nanowrimo
My ninth graders begin their final exams today. The distribution of my schedule is such that I have more seventh grade classes at the beginning of the week, more ninth grade classes at the end of the week, and eighth graders sprinkled evenly throughout. On Fridays, four of my five classes are with ninth graders. Ergo, I'm sitting on my ass most of the day today.
If I lived in Korea until my retirement, I would never understand why they have final exams, and then continue to have classes for more than a month before the semester ends. A teacher explained once that it's because they need time for the students to lodge any protests (which there are always are) in their attempts to eke out an extra percentage point or two. I get that ninth grade final are pretty important, and that Korean teacher are also overworked and might need some extra time to fend off the gang of angry zombie teenagers. But six weeks? This is a time when I have to step back and say, "You know what? Not my country. Also, not my problem, and not my job to worry about it."
The only reason I mention this at all is that, once their finals are over, the third graders are impossible. They know that nothing counts for the rest of the semester. They are literally too cool for school. On the other hand, it is one of the very few breaks these kids will ever get in their young lives, so I can put up with it I guess.
If you're reading this on the day of posting, you can see my word count badge hasn't moved in a couple of days. Yeah, don't know what to say about that. I'm out of excuses. I'm just not writing is all, and maybe I've decided not to care...again, and maybe I won't be able to do that...again. The problem is nothing is happening. If you played The Sims for a few hours, and then wrote down everything your virtual people did, you'd have something close to the first 12 pages of my nano-novel. "I woke up. I went to the kitchen. I ate breakfast. I went to the bathroom. I took a..." You get the idea. God, how boring. In fact, I bet if I did exactly that, my story would probably end up a damn sight more interesting than it is now. Sigh! Wake me up when November ends.
Oh, by the way. Democracy is alive after all. Yay!
If I lived in Korea until my retirement, I would never understand why they have final exams, and then continue to have classes for more than a month before the semester ends. A teacher explained once that it's because they need time for the students to lodge any protests (which there are always are) in their attempts to eke out an extra percentage point or two. I get that ninth grade final are pretty important, and that Korean teacher are also overworked and might need some extra time to fend off the gang of angry zombie teenagers. But six weeks? This is a time when I have to step back and say, "You know what? Not my country. Also, not my problem, and not my job to worry about it."
The only reason I mention this at all is that, once their finals are over, the third graders are impossible. They know that nothing counts for the rest of the semester. They are literally too cool for school. On the other hand, it is one of the very few breaks these kids will ever get in their young lives, so I can put up with it I guess.
If you're reading this on the day of posting, you can see my word count badge hasn't moved in a couple of days. Yeah, don't know what to say about that. I'm out of excuses. I'm just not writing is all, and maybe I've decided not to care...again, and maybe I won't be able to do that...again. The problem is nothing is happening. If you played The Sims for a few hours, and then wrote down everything your virtual people did, you'd have something close to the first 12 pages of my nano-novel. "I woke up. I went to the kitchen. I ate breakfast. I went to the bathroom. I took a..." You get the idea. God, how boring. In fact, I bet if I did exactly that, my story would probably end up a damn sight more interesting than it is now. Sigh! Wake me up when November ends.
Oh, by the way. Democracy is alive after all. Yay!
Labels: EFL teaching, life in Korea, Nanowrimo
No more words, (and no more promises)
1 Comments Published by Brian on Tuesday, November 07, 2006 at 11:04 AM.
Score one point if you can tell me the name of the 80's pop group that sang the song from whence I took the title of this posting. Score yourself a bonus point if you were actually in high school at the time and remember watching the video on MTV back in the day.
So...anyway, the writing isn't going so well. I tortured myself about it for three days (strapping your other hand to the waterboard is next to impossible), then finally on Saturday I decided to just take care of other things that were distracting me. that is, I did all the things that I was telling myself I should be doing instead of trying to write a novel.
It turned out I had a lot of stuff to do.
So now I have maybe the cleanest bathroom in the neighborhood (that might actually be true), my laundry is all done, my shirts are all ironed, and I've taken care of a thousand other little chores that needed doing. Unfortunately, I still don't feel like sitting down to write a novel.
Another thing is going on that I'm not willing to talk about here. I only mention that because I don't want to give the impression that I'm giving up so easily. There is actually a very good, medically verifiable reason why I can't write a novel this month. But I'm not going to talk about it.
...and yet,
I had some free time this afternoon and wrote about 500 words. Sigh! I remember I once read a quote from Garrison Keillor about this, which hey, I found online somewhere. The Google is a marvelous thing.
"When you want to quit: Put your manuscript away for a time. Go off and 'shoot pool,' watch TV, fish - do whatever you want to do and see what happens. If the urge to write goes away, you have no problem. If it doesn't, you'd better resign yourself to the idea you'll never be happy, unless you are a writer."
Sigh! I don't know if I'm a writer-but dammit all, like a dog to his own vomit, I keep going back to it.
No promises...
So...anyway, the writing isn't going so well. I tortured myself about it for three days (strapping your other hand to the waterboard is next to impossible), then finally on Saturday I decided to just take care of other things that were distracting me. that is, I did all the things that I was telling myself I should be doing instead of trying to write a novel.
It turned out I had a lot of stuff to do.
So now I have maybe the cleanest bathroom in the neighborhood (that might actually be true), my laundry is all done, my shirts are all ironed, and I've taken care of a thousand other little chores that needed doing. Unfortunately, I still don't feel like sitting down to write a novel.
Another thing is going on that I'm not willing to talk about here. I only mention that because I don't want to give the impression that I'm giving up so easily. There is actually a very good, medically verifiable reason why I can't write a novel this month. But I'm not going to talk about it.
...and yet,
I had some free time this afternoon and wrote about 500 words. Sigh! I remember I once read a quote from Garrison Keillor about this, which hey, I found online somewhere. The Google is a marvelous thing.
"When you want to quit: Put your manuscript away for a time. Go off and 'shoot pool,' watch TV, fish - do whatever you want to do and see what happens. If the urge to write goes away, you have no problem. If it doesn't, you'd better resign yourself to the idea you'll never be happy, unless you are a writer."
Sigh! I don't know if I'm a writer-but dammit all, like a dog to his own vomit, I keep going back to it.
No promises...
...and then there are the good days.
0 Comments Published by Brian on Friday, November 03, 2006 at 1:19 PM.
If I'm being completely honest, I'd have to say the days when I can't stand my job outnumber the days when I can. If I'm being really and truly completely honest, I'd have to admit that condition has more to do with me than with the job itself.
But then something happens like yesterday when a girl came to the front of my classroom after I'd dismissed class with a friend for moral support. She read haltingly from notes she had written on a piece of paper, "Have you ever been to Los Angeles?" I said I had, and held a miniature conversation on the subject of Los Angeles and Disneyland. When the two girls left to go to lunch, the one who had spoken to me was so proud of herself she was literally jumping. I was proud of her too. Hardly anyone in my school attempts even the most basic of sentences like that.
Today another student caught me in the hallway and announced she'd been accepted into a foreign language high school. I don't pretend I had anything to do with that, but I was touched that she felt it was important enough to tell me about.
So maybe my efforts around here don't go completely unnoticed. That's something I guess.
***
I'm off to a slow start on the novel thing. In fact I almost gave up yesterday. I had written about 300 words, and I hated every single one of them. Fiction is hard. These self-indulgent musing about my own life come much easier.
Despite my misgivings, I plowed on ahead last night, and it did get easier. Word wars are the key. That's how I got my novel written last year and it looks like it will be the same story this time too. I just need something to make me write like hell without thinking too much. Maybe I'll even get caught up before the weekend is over.
But then something happens like yesterday when a girl came to the front of my classroom after I'd dismissed class with a friend for moral support. She read haltingly from notes she had written on a piece of paper, "Have you ever been to Los Angeles?" I said I had, and held a miniature conversation on the subject of Los Angeles and Disneyland. When the two girls left to go to lunch, the one who had spoken to me was so proud of herself she was literally jumping. I was proud of her too. Hardly anyone in my school attempts even the most basic of sentences like that.
Today another student caught me in the hallway and announced she'd been accepted into a foreign language high school. I don't pretend I had anything to do with that, but I was touched that she felt it was important enough to tell me about.
So maybe my efforts around here don't go completely unnoticed. That's something I guess.
***
I'm off to a slow start on the novel thing. In fact I almost gave up yesterday. I had written about 300 words, and I hated every single one of them. Fiction is hard. These self-indulgent musing about my own life come much easier.
Despite my misgivings, I plowed on ahead last night, and it did get easier. Word wars are the key. That's how I got my novel written last year and it looks like it will be the same story this time too. I just need something to make me write like hell without thinking too much. Maybe I'll even get caught up before the weekend is over.
Labels: EFL teaching, life in Korea, Nanowrimo
It's November first here in Korea, even if it isn't quite yet in the US. I've already started working on my Nano. I'd like to call your attention to the new icon on the upper right-hand side of the page. It will give a live update of my wordcount, so you can check back whenever you like to see how I'm doing. Also feel free to nudge me along if you see me lagging behind, or give me a verbal flogging if you notice the count hasn't changed for several days.
The goal is to write 50,000 words during the month which works out to just under 1,700 words a day. I've set a personal daily goal of 2,000 words. So far today I've written 233 words. I'd better get cracking.
I'll try to keep the updates coming, but I hope you'll understand if the blog entries are short for the next few weeks.
I already feel lost with this thing. I don't know if I can do it this year. But I promised I'd give it a shot.
The goal is to write 50,000 words during the month which works out to just under 1,700 words a day. I've set a personal daily goal of 2,000 words. So far today I've written 233 words. I'd better get cracking.
I'll try to keep the updates coming, but I hope you'll understand if the blog entries are short for the next few weeks.
I already feel lost with this thing. I don't know if I can do it this year. But I promised I'd give it a shot.
Labels: Nanowrimo
It's almost November, so that means Nanowrimo starts soon. Registration on the website opened the other day, and the excitement is palpable.
Did you not feel it palpate?
Well anyway, notice the sleek new "participant" icon above the archive links. Hopefully in about two months I can change it to a "winner" icon.
If you've never done anything like this, it's hard to understand why you would ever do something like this. Any answer I give beyond "I'm mentally unstable," fails to ring true. Besides, the Nanowrimo FAQ (click the link above) does a much better job of explaining it than I ever could.
I haven't thought much about my story in the past few days, but I'm hoping to do more of that during the break this week. Really though, I want to just start writing, but rules are rules. 28 more days.
Labels: Nanowrimo
My foot is better today. Taking it easy yesterday was the right move. Now though I have to think about how soon I should go back to the gym and what things I should do so I don’t re-injure it. Like I said yesterday, this taking care of yourself thing is exactly the area where I come up short.
Just because I spent the day with my feet up doesn’t mean the time was wasted however. I did hammer out a basic synopsis for this year’s Nano novel. Sorry, but I’m not willing to share it with the world at large just yet. A really cool thing happened over the weekend though. The seed of an idea for my story first came to me more than a month ago, and I kind of kicked it around in my head for a while but parts of it were problematic to me. Then on Saturday evening the thought came to me that one detail of the story should really be different, and the whole idea suddenly made a lot more sense. I know that’s kind of cryptic, and again, I’m sorry I can’t say more right now. Ok, I know how I can explain this better: You know those Sudoku puzzles that are all the rage right now? Right, well you know how you’ll be going along, filling in numbers where you can and it’s a slow a tedious process at times, but eventually you get to a point where once you fill in a certain square, you suddenly can see where the next one goes, and the next, and the next, and they all seem to cascade into place in rapid succession until the puzzle is complete? It’s kind of like that. Those moments are really cool. Electric.
The other thing I did yesterday, whether it was a waste of time, well that’s a matter of opinion. A number of my friends are doing the MySpace thing. Yesterday I finally broke down and got a MySpace profile, and ended up messing around with it for quite a while. I don’t take it too seriously I guess. It’s just for fun. Have a look if you want, post a comment, and I’ll do the same on your space.
